How to make my husband more affectionate

Added: Cristy Gongora - Date: 19.02.2022 16:16 - Views: 43827 - Clicks: 6933

And for some married couples, that honeymoon phase can last years. But even healthy relationships eventually hit a steady plateau, usually when life gets busy with careers or raising a family. Quite the opposite. And you would be partly right.

But marriage is a partnership, which means when one person is struggling, the other half might need to step in and help. But if we decide that our marriages and men are worth the effort, then I promise you, the will be so worth it!

I was stuck in that mental rut early in our marriage and it left us both super frustrated and things were less than cozy between us. And it finally hit me as to why we were struggling in our romantic relationship: what man in his right mind wants to be intimate with a woman who acts more like his mother than his sweetheart?

This was an epiphany for me. I was treating my husband as one of the kids instead of respecting him for the man that he is. The man I fell in love with. It might sound nice in our he, but deep down, we know we want someone who can think for themselves and offer a differing perspective in life. If he wanted that, he could have just moved back home. My husband was my best friend before he ever became my boyfriend.

Talking has always been easy between us. I have an aversion to being wrong. It makes me bristle, even if the truth is staring me in the face. But as you can imagine, this eventually shut my husband down. Finally, when I felt there was too much distance between us and nothing I did or said made any real difference, I decided to have a talk with my best friend.

But this time, I would let him do the talking. Swallowing my pride, I sat my husband down and asked him what I could work on in myself that would encourage him to be more affectionate towards me. I told him I wanted him to be very honest with me, that I wanted to work hard to be the woman he could cherish every day. Being the gentleman he is, my husband kept dodging the matter by saying there was nothing to change and he does cherish me.

But I just rephrased my question a few times, telling him I really want to work on my part as a wife, to be more loving and I needed his help to know where to start. I took a deep breath, brushed away the defensiveness building inside me, and asked genuine questions to help me fully understand his suggestion and how I could work on it.

But he was honest and I learned things I had no clue were ever an issue between us. Things I never would have worked on had he not mentioned them but would have kept adding to our marriage problems. When he was done, I had tears streaming down my face. But hearing my husband talk about the small things that shut him down, made so much sense and I purposed in my heart—as well as promised my husband—that I would work on them.

You know what that did? When I asked my husband some of the things I could work on, he mentioned stress is a big factor for him. And although I was not contributing to his stress, he knew it was something practical I could do to help. He listed some things that would add to an already stressful day and I went to work reducing those areas in our home.

There are going to be things you need to talk over when you meet back up at the end of the day, but just after he walks through the door is not the time to do this. Food is also an excellent motivator. Having something to eat while you talk can just about smooth over any situation. Just talking over dinner. Of course, making his favorite meal would be a bonus…. Letting him talk about his day is a great way to relieve that stress from a long workday. Not all men will want to do this, but if they are willing, listening to whatever he needs to say is a great way to bond with your man, especially if you are showing interest in what he enjoys or does at work.

The more you do this, the more your partner will open up. I used to be a packrat until after my fourth move. When we removed half of our belongings from our home, I was amazed at how much stress went with it. This is not the easiest to work on, especially for someone who gets overwhelmed easily. But small tweaks like less technology before dinner, a clean house and dinner prepped early made me less stressed, our kids happier and my man eager to come home.

The best thing for our marriage was when my husband invested in a dry-erase board. It was a small thing that ended up having a big impact on our long-term relationship. Instead of him resenting me every time I reminded him of things that needed doing, he would write them down on his board where he could see it several times a day. If I see my husband getting overwhelmed, I try to tackle some of his to-do list. On a plus side, he has done the same for me more times than I can count and those little things really do go a long way towards endearing each other to one another.

I know how hard it is to think about sex when your own love bank is bone dry. Well, men feel connected to us through sex. And if we want to tear down those barriers between us, the fastest way to emotional intimacy between a man and his woman is through sex. But it needs to be more than just the act.

He needs to feel wanted, desired, that his touch means something. When we make this a priority, coupled with a few of the above-mentioned tips, the transformation is truly remarkable. I know this can be hard to do, especially when feeling unloved, so read How to be More Affectionate to Your Husband for some tips that really help!

To be fair, us women can often do the same. A gentle reminder may be all they need. Kissing him just because. Rubbing his back or massaging his feet. I know that our first response to lack of affection is to shut our men out. Being patient with them and working to understand the things keeping them from being affectionate will go a long way towards having that closeness we desire with them. Brag on their touch and the feeling that it gives.

Reciprocate with a smile and more closeness. Be their sweetheart again. When I met my husband in college, I had just broken off a two-year relationship and was not in the mood to talk to anyone. But it was summertime and since few students remained on campus, we kept bumping into each other and eventually became friends. Fast friends. We were inseparable. But it took several months for me to agree to date him because I knew once we did, that was it. We were in it for the long haul and I was scared of commitment. But he knew what he wanted in life and he was convinced I was the one he wanted by his side.

Whenever I ask him what were the things that first drew him to me, his answer is always the same: he loved my spirit, my smarts and my love for others. So when we started feeling distant, I analyzed those things he loved so much about me and asked myself if I was still that girl he first fell in love with, or was I someone completely different? Honesty had me admitting I lost sight of that person years ago. Regardless of the reasons, I wanted her back. Because I really liked that girl. And I missed her. Now I work on maintaining that best version of me. This post is about encouraging affection because the truth of the matter is, there is no magic switch.

My grandmother married seven times. By the time she got to her last husband, I think she finally realized that there is no such thing as a perfect spouse and eventually started working on the marriage she had. Kimberly McGraw is the founder of Life Worth the Living , a blog focused on helping mothers live their best life. Her desire is to help moms find purpose in who they are as a person, not just as a mom. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam.

Learn how your comment data is processed. About the author. Kimberly McGraw. July 16, Budget-friendly Luau Birthday Party Ideas.

How to make my husband more affectionate

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5 Ways to Show Your Husband More Affection